My dad decided we’re going to Edinburgh this August for the Edinburgh International Festival? Okay. Kind of was hoping for somewhere a little more second world, but I’ll take what I can get. Hoping to see some castles, maybe stay in one?

It’s been too long since we’ve travelled, and I am glad things are getting planned. Should be fun, looking forward to it. Just hoping the internships in Irvington and the Bronx and the job at Hawthorne will inderstand that I’ll be finishing halfway through August.

A little disappointed I’ll be unable to adventure with Karen and Diana on a Cruise to Me-hi-co. Never been, and what a more fabulous way to visit than by cruise! Maybe next year, or spring break even.

Risky Business. 1983. Paul Brickman.

When his parents leave him home alone, young [beautiful] Tom Cruise’s character, makes decisions that butterfly effect to larger and larger issues. A classic, I thought there were similarities to Cool-Factor modern movies.  Like for instance, the soundtrack showed similarity with Drive (with Ryan Gosling).  Though the two are quite dissimilar in plot, there’s somethig about the coolnes of the two main characters. Maybe Risky Business was the origin of the Cool Guy? I mean, how can you top Tom Cruise in Vintage Way-Farers?

My Best Friend’s Wedding. 1997. PJ Hogan.

Surprisingly good for a romantic comedy; I was actually laughing through it. But it was a  Julia Roberts movie, and like all of her movies, all I could think about was the fact that she has no upper lip indent. It’s really bothersome. And her hair in the movie. Whoah. Overall it was cute, funny, and entertaining. Thankfully not too predictable.

Winter’s Bone. 2010. Debra Granik.

A very unusual independent film, and adapted from a novel, I thought it was worth the awards it received and more. It was dark, gritty, and actually very 60s in that not much happens and everything happens way, if that makes any sense. Also I loved seeing Jennifer Lawrence in her breakout role. I doubt it was difficult transition from playing Ree Dolly to Katniss Everdeen.  The two are strong young heroines who act like parental figures to protect their siblings. They both must endure horrors of life in Ozark Moutnain and the Hunger Games Arena. I recommend this one.

Bridesmaids. 2011. Paul Feig.

I’m probably the only person on the planet who had never seen this one, so when I saw it was on one of the movie channels, I jumped at the chance to finally watch. Now, I think the problem I had with this film was the same I had with the Hangover. I saw the Hangover after most people, and I felt it was overhyped. I thought the movie was funny, but not worth the praise it had received. Bridesmaids was the same. Sure, it was a little funny here and there, but I was not laughing hysterically. Plus I hate humor that relies on the principle of disgusting. The entire bathroom scene was just gross. I was not amused. Overall, it was mediocre.

Chocolate Peanutbutter sandwiches. I messed up the ingredients for the filling, and ended up using cool whip instead of whipping cream. Turned out it worked better than expected.

I was driving around NYC the other day when I happened to decide to detour from heading home to the GW to explore a little bit of the financial district. Unfortunately there was a massive traffic jam surrounding Battery Park. I was sitting for around an hour. I also, by chance, had my camera with me. I photographed 1 WTC and the bridge while moving around 50mph on 9W, through the windshield and the sunroof. I wouldn’t recommend it. Or tell my mom.

Things I plan to do [am doing] this summer:

- Exhaust every possible combination of ingredients in the mini pie maker. Including but not limited to fruit, chocolate, nutella, pie filing, cream pie filling, homemade pie crust, quiches and tortes. So far I’ve done peach and raspberry mini pie, which was good, but probably not a favorite.

- Get my nails done with Nancy. It’s always the small things I enjoy so much with my mom, and I can’t remember the last time we have gotten our nails done together.

- Get my hair straightened. I have put quite some thought into this one. It’s permanent, so untill my hair grows in, I will have perfectly straight hair, right out of the shower. My mom said she’ll give it to me for my birthday. I’m looking forward to the end of August! It would be so nice to not have to worry about one thing

- Visit Michelle in Boston. Probably go with Kim as well.

- Visit Grandma in Florida. There’s only a few years ahead I’ll be able to do this.

- Finish the Fountainhead, start (attempt to finish) Infinite Jest.

-  Reorganize. My room, my head, my priorities.

- Get tan. And not just for me, I mean REALLY tan.

- Get in shape. I need to be fit again. 

- Find a new TV series to be obsessed with. Thanks to Netflix, this one won’t be too hard.

- Continue watching a different modern classic each night. Another post should follow this one regarding my opinions on this week’s viewings. If I’m a film minor, I need to be familiar with as many films as possible.

-Learn the NYC Subway system. It’s beyond confusing and completed unorganized, but the more I use it the more accesible Manhattan will be. 

-Enjoy decorating the new apartment next year. You probably don’t get a chance to buy crazy mugs and home decor too often, so I want to make sure I have fun with it.

-Travel. I am dying to go somewhere new. It’s been a few years since we’ve gone somewhere and I’m ready to be a tourist again.

-Enjoy the summer. I have around three months to make money, gain experience, and relax. I will have plenty of work when the semester starts, and now is the time to slow down, read, tan, save up, and travel. I want to make sure I spend as much time as possible with my friends here at home. In some ways they are so much more relaxing than at school.  Fits for the summer I suppose.

- Last and most importantly of all, get my cats to love me again. Or at the very least remember me.

I feel bad that I’m getting agitated over the small things, you probably don’t deserve any of the comments I keep inside my head. But actually, I think I’m glad I get so annoyed with you. Because it has made me realize how not annoyed I am with other people. Not talking about the boys from the row I’ve never met, not flirting with the entire swim team, not having to pay $3 for gas when you get paid a $200 allowance to hook up with strangers. It is refreshing to just enjoy the day and walk around Little Tokyo. Going out to the Warehouse District isn’t a whole planned affair, but strangely a weekly occurance. It is so nice to not have to fake interest. Fake interest. Maybe I am a horribly mean person after all.

I guess if this was high school I would have to choose one and stick with it. But thankfully college is all about floating. I definitely have changed since the beginning of the year. Changed though, not as a complete remodeling of myself, but as a solidification of who I was becoming at the end of last year. I have begun to open myself up to others and express my fears. Literally and figuratively, but also literally. It is very hard for me to unravel what years of internal mummification has yielded. That sounded odd.

It is kind of weird to be around people who are like you. You don’t have to mask emotions. Or fill silence with jabber. You can just sit and enjoy the company of others.

I just want to sink into a shadowy haze and fall asleep on my open physics book. 

Karen just said “there’s too many gingers at this school.” 

Don’t know if I should read too far into it, but for some reason it strung a nerve. If someone said there were “too many asians” or “too many latinos” people would freak out. Is it just because I’m kind of tired of being shuffled into the somewhat-race somewhat-made up genre called “ginger”? Or maybe I am just annoyed because it is just another thing that comes out of Karen’s mouth without her realizing its implications.  Am I tired of Karen’s puppy dog faces and saying “sowwy” instead of sorry, or am I just tired with the ginger-itus thing as a whole?

I am so tired of Jillian’s Ginger Handshake, and Ginger High-Five, and “Oh, we’re both wearing blue, we gingers must be telepathic!” And everyone’s “you’re so pale!” And “no, you can’t be tan, that’s just your freckles.” No, world, I have not connected all the dots in pen, you can stop asking. Yes, this sun burn does hurt, thanks for noticing.

I just want to demark my hair, skin, and body and sink into oblivion. I’m tired of being marked as different. If my race is considered white I want to be treated as such. If I am considered ginger, I want to dye my hair. Where is the bleach?

Strangely today’s obsession.

(Source: Spotify)

I’m kind of obsessed with HONY.

Not my choice of words, but I like.

I love this city.

I’ve never really thought about getting one. Working at Hawthorne Pool, I’ve seen some pretty bad designs on some pretty fat people. I’ve seen every cliche from a heart encircling “Mom” to a butterfly tramp stamp in the under chlorinated water of Hawthorne Municipal. And there’s still something that terrifies me about Tattoos: needs, pain, permanence. No, the real fear lies in its statement of rebellion. I have never been the outward type craving to rebel, to wear high wasted light wash jorts and a Miley Cyrus style fringed sweater and do everything society tells you not to. That’s just not me. I have my own moral/ethical compass, and my conscious yells at me every day, keeping me, (for the most part) in check.

I sound pure. I’m not.

I could go on about my parents, but that’s probably another Tumblr post. (I sound like Sheehan OMG.) Anyway, I need to stop kidding myself that I’d be disappointing them, when the only person I’d ever truly disappoint is myself. 

There’s something truly exciting about it. I don’t know why I can’t stop thinking about it, wanting it. It is kind of weird. What is happening. Maybe it’s the last attempt to break free of my Ridgewood, New Jersey upbringing, where tattoos, are severely looked down upon. 

Hm. Strangely, the design has not come easily. I keep thinking about other people’s reactions to it, how they will view me with it, how I will justify its presence on my skin. Architecture has made m even more aware of how much everything I design sucks. So how am I supposed to disregard other people’s reactions with this personal decision and go with what I love? Ah! So much thinking involved in everything. Life was so much simpler in the sixties. Oh, wrong Tumblr post.

The Treachery of Images, Rene Margritte